Read You Can Date Boys When You're Forty : Dave Barry on Parenting and Other Topics He Knows Very Little About in MOBI, TXT, EPUB
9780399165948 English 0399165940 A brilliantly funny exploration of the twin mysteries of parenthood and families from the Pulitzer Prize winner and "New York Times"-bestselling author of "Insane City." In his "New York Times"-bestselling "Ill Mature When Im Dead," Dave Barry embarked on the treacherous seas of adulthood, to hilarious results. What comes next? Parenthood, of course, and families. In uproarious, brand-new pieces, Barry tackles everything from family trips, bat mitzvah parties and dating (hes serious about that title: "When my daughter can legally commence dating--February 24, 2040--I intend to monitor her closely, even if I am deceased") to funeral instructions ("I would like my eulogy to be given by William Shatner"), the differences between male and female friendships, the deeper meaning of "Fifty Shades of Grey," and a fathers ultimate sacrifice: accompanying his daughter to a Justin Bieber concert ("It turns out that the noise teenaged girls make to express happiness is the same noise they would make if their feet were being gnawed off by badgers"). Lets face it: families not only enrich our lives every day, they drive us completely around the bend. Thank goodness we have Dave Barry as our guide, How to Dress, 1. Get hold of the Sunday New York Times. 2. Turn to the Men's Fashion section and make note of what it says the Modern Man is wearing. 3. Whatever it is, do not wear it. 4. EVER. 5. Exhibit A is "capri pants." 6. A man should not wear capri pants. 7. This is not a matter of "taste" or "style." This is a matter of scientific fact. 8. A man who puts on capri pants, no matter how suave and attractive he is otherwise, immediately transforms himself into a Category 5 douche. 9. Yes, there are foreign countries where many men wear capri pants. 10. None of these countries has ever won a war. Book jacket.
9780399165948 English 0399165940 A brilliantly funny exploration of the twin mysteries of parenthood and families from the Pulitzer Prize winner and "New York Times"-bestselling author of "Insane City." In his "New York Times"-bestselling "Ill Mature When Im Dead," Dave Barry embarked on the treacherous seas of adulthood, to hilarious results. What comes next? Parenthood, of course, and families. In uproarious, brand-new pieces, Barry tackles everything from family trips, bat mitzvah parties and dating (hes serious about that title: "When my daughter can legally commence dating--February 24, 2040--I intend to monitor her closely, even if I am deceased") to funeral instructions ("I would like my eulogy to be given by William Shatner"), the differences between male and female friendships, the deeper meaning of "Fifty Shades of Grey," and a fathers ultimate sacrifice: accompanying his daughter to a Justin Bieber concert ("It turns out that the noise teenaged girls make to express happiness is the same noise they would make if their feet were being gnawed off by badgers"). Lets face it: families not only enrich our lives every day, they drive us completely around the bend. Thank goodness we have Dave Barry as our guide, How to Dress, 1. Get hold of the Sunday New York Times. 2. Turn to the Men's Fashion section and make note of what it says the Modern Man is wearing. 3. Whatever it is, do not wear it. 4. EVER. 5. Exhibit A is "capri pants." 6. A man should not wear capri pants. 7. This is not a matter of "taste" or "style." This is a matter of scientific fact. 8. A man who puts on capri pants, no matter how suave and attractive he is otherwise, immediately transforms himself into a Category 5 douche. 9. Yes, there are foreign countries where many men wear capri pants. 10. None of these countries has ever won a war. Book jacket.